TRANSCRIPTION: Your Parents Most Important Thing
[SH] What are we talking about today?
Your Parents Most Important Thing[JB] Well, just a bit of a continuation from last week, because I don’t know if you remember, well hopefully you do you remember, that last week I talked about this revelation I had when I was first pregnant. About how being a parent is probably the most important thing that you could do. If you become a parent, that becomes one of your most important things. But the other side of the coin of that is, that means for our parents, we are, you and me, we are the outcome of our parents’ most important job. So for everybody who’s listening to this, they have a Mum and Dad I presume. That would be true wouldn’t it?
[SH] Yeah. Maybe not with them anymore, but they all have a Mum and Dad.[JB] That’s right. And so, just interesting to consider yourself as being the outcome of whatever happened. I don’t come at this with you know a very perfect upbringing myself. I know a lot of people struggle with their parents. My Dad had a lot of terrible experiences during World War Two. My parents were quite old when I was born. And we didn’t realize until he was in, like his 70s, that he had post-traumatic stress all that time. And so our household was quite a difficult one to live in because you were always tiptoeing around the edges wondering if you’re going to get in trouble from Dad, with unspoken rules and difficult conversations happening all the time. It was quite tricky.
And so although it was a Christian household, and we knew he loved us, our whole lives were based around keeping appearances basically. So out in the open going to church on Sundays with looked like the happy normal family but actually it was very different at home. And, I struggled, when he died in 2008, I actually quite struggled to find, or think of something, good about him at that point. We were covered in grief it was a difficult time. He was a difficult man to live with, and there was no two ways around that. But as I’ve been thinking about this over the last few weeks, I’m realizing more and more how while it was a difficult time, growing up with a Dad like that, it was also important to acknowledge him for giving us life.
That he did, he and mum, loved us and would do anything for us. And so it’s an overwhelming understanding of the next step in the journey, which is forgiving your parents. Stephen and I have ministered with so many people who have been amazingly, profoundly changed because they’ve had awful, much more difficult circumstances than I have had, times with their parents. And by forgiving their parents and beginning this journey of honouring them, gives you a real leg up into freedom, and release, from a whole lot of terrible things that happened.
[SH] And like, I remember I went to a David Meece concert once,
And he talked about his childhood, and some horrific things that happened to him. But then he talked about, a similar thing, he got to a point in his life where he heard his Dad’s story, and heard about the things that happened to his Dad from his parents. And all of a sudden, he had this wave of compassion for his Father, you know, from what he’d dealt with as a child. And then he was able to forgive his Dad, as well. It’s crucial to be able to move on, and be an adult.[JB] It certainly is, and it makes you realise that it’s a generational thing. What David Meece talking about was something that went down from one generation to the other. So where does it stop? Unless we take the action, and do the difficult thing. Which for us in the end is the freeing thing, of forgiving our parents. And the interesting thing too is going back to the Ten Commandments and knowing that honouring your mother and father was the only one that came with a consequence, a good consequence. That you will receive a blessing. And Paul picks that up in the New Testament too. So it’s something that we can hold on to, that by honouring, or treasuring, our mothers and our fathers. We end up with a positive outcome.
[SH] And honouring and treasuring our mothers and fathers doesn’t come down to their performance[JB] No
[SH] It’s nothing to do with performance[JB] No, no it’s not. It’s more that they’ve given you life. And because in giving you life, you are here today, and you can live in the world and have an impact on the world, then you can honour them irrespective of what they did to you. Yep.
[SH] Great stuff. Thank you Jenny[JB] Thank you Scott. Good to talk to you today
[SH] See you next week
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