Have you ever found yourself so busy with children that it feels like life is consumed by them, maybe work, and little else? Whether you’re in the nappy-changing stage or the dropping kids to their part-time job stage, it can be exhausting. And there are times we catch sight of another adult at the kitchen table, or asleep at the end of a long day, and think, “hey, I married you once!” Sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone. In this podcast Samantha has some great tips on making intentional time to connect with your spouse, and build a healthy marriage.
(Note: if you’re a single mum reading this, or you’ve got a close friend who’s a single mum, the same principles still apply. You need as much love, support, time out and care as any woman! See if you can get creative with friends as to ways you can support one another on your parenting journeys.)
Show Notes – Building a Healthy Marriage
- When kids came along Samantha struggled with feeling like she needed to be “all things to all people”, and pulled in all directions. She lists four tips that helped her marriage:
- Have a “check –in time” with each other. Samantha and her husband make a point of doing this weekly. It doesn’t need to be a “going out” date night. But you could make tea, eat chocolate, and sit down to really talk about how each of them are going.
- Share the family chores. Whether both parents are working full-time, part-time, or only one works, it’s better when the workload doesn’t all fall on one person. Demonstrate to your kids that in a healthy marriage everyone pulls their weight!
- Give each other some “outlet’ time. It doesn’t have to be a whole day! Just enough time where the person can fill refuelled by it. Being a parent is demanding so it’s important that you are looking after yourself before you can look after everyone else. “Outlet time” might be time to paint, write, get creative, or read a book, play a sport. You looking after yourself will have a benefit for the wider family.
- Get up early together. Samantha and her husband get up early each morning and read the Bible and pray quietly, physically together but alone with their thoughts and prayers. She says, “by 7am we are done. We are awake and ready to face the day. I am not a morning person at all, but there has been something unifying about both of us getting up and reading God’s word.”
You can read more about Samantha’s thoughts on the subject in her blog post, here available from 2pm Tuesday, 19th Nov 2019.
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